Last Seven Standing
by MEGGEM
Summary: Series of alternate one-shots about how each in the group 'died' a dramatic 'death' during the infamous game of paintball. WARNING: MULTIPLE pairings and out of control Senor Chang. Pairings- well, anything can happen in war. Live on Spanish Study group.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! Though this is not my first Fanfiction story, it is my first Community story. So...be kind:) **

**I love Community and the first season was absolutely brilliant! But- in Modern Warfare, which I loved- I had a few different ideas. They 'killed' the people off pretty quickly and I thought each should have a certain...dramatic ending. So here is my take on their 'deaths'. Wow, going back to read that, it's kind of depressing!**

**This isn't really a story, more of a series of one-shots as the group takes on different clubs and school groups. **

**I have a couple endings that are set in stone but a few I need some guidance, so please any comments or ideas you have share! And I'm partial to a few pairings but I'll try to include as many as I can. It is war- anything can happen! :) **

**-ok, shutting up now- **

**Disclaimer: the writers of Community and Dan Harmon are geniuses- genii? Whatever- this is simply my take. And Modern Warfare was amazing anyway. **

Death to Old White Man- The End of Pierce 

"Shoot and score- shoot some more! You (clap!clap!) are(clap!clap!) going (clap!clap!) to (clap!clap!) get (clap!clap!) hit!"

The Spanish group raced down the hallways as cheerleaders chanted and chased them down. The group was grimy and exhausted, but the thought of the prize kept them strong. Somewhere along the way they'd acquired an orange band of glow-in-the-dark duck tape on their arms- a little drawing of a chicken in a sombrero (done by Annie) to distinguish Chang's study group.

Suddenly, chanting increased and the study group sped faster than they'd ever had, even faster than when the chicken fingers were at their height. Finally, they reached the cafeteria. Ducking behind a lunch table, they kept reloading their guns and firing with all they had, but the cheerleaders had created a pom-pom smoke screen.

"Damn!" Troy cried as he shot blindly. "I'm never watching 'Bring It On' ever again!"

Britta and Jeff stuck their head up above the table to get a better look at the cheerleaders. The Dean, of course, had again enlisted Pierce to help with a non-racist, non-sexist costume for the girls (oh the irony!). They wore their hair in strange style that could belong to either gender, skirts with shorts underneath, a blank t-shirt, and the same face/skin covering that the iconic 'Human Being' sported. These at least had eyeholes- that mistake had already been corrected when the cheerleaders did awkward cartwheels…into the Dean's complimentary buffet table.

Suddenly the shooting died down and all that remained were little giggles. Abed cocked his head.

"Do you hear that? It's quiet…too quiet," he murmured. Pierce pulled something from his pocket.

"My fifth wife was an ex-cheerleader. Here's how you really deal with these people!" Before anyone could ask what he meant, he shouted 'Razzle Pazazzle!' and launched something over the lunch table.

The little gourd hit the floor with a thud.

There wasn't a sound.

Then-

FLUFPPPS!

A paintball grenade explosion filled their ears. Annie screamed as a shower of blue paint fell like a waterfall onto her – luckily, Abed managed to draw a fallen, 'Spring Fling' banner over her before the liquid came dowm. She emerged unscathed. Shirley rocked back and forth, whispering, "God help us- God help us all!" When the explosion ceased, Jeff looked onto Pierce with amazement.

"Where did you get that?"

"I know a guy."

Suddenly, Pierce jumped to his feet. "Haha- I bet you weren't expecting that," he said gleefully.

But there was a horrible silence until a single shot of blue splattered across Pierce's shirt. He looked down, sniffling softly. Turning to the group, they saluted him solemnly and he made a fist, nodding in their direction.

"Hey, I'm soaked!" one cheerleader cried out. Pierce spun quickly on his heels and strode confidently to the girls, their uniforms paint-splattered. The room was quiet with grief as the cheerleaders (four of which were crying) and Pierce exited the room.

"You want to take a shower?" the group heard Pierce say.

**(IN MEMORY OF PIERCE: he was a ...(?)(?)(?) man with glasses)**

**('Culturally it's unacceptable, but theatrical dynamite!' -Pierce Hawthorne, of Hawthorne wipes.)**

**R&R! :0**

**-Meggem **


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay, another addition to this story! Sorry that I have disappeared, guys. I got the urge to post this very short chapter tonight so here it is! Shirley's end...ominous...**

**Disclaimer: Dan Harmon, my hat off to you for owning EVERYTHING! :( **

Prayers in the Night- The End of Shirley 

Shirley murmured a prayer as she paced along the cold steps.

The night was still and freezing; her hair stood straight up, like daggers. She eyed her gun with respect and loyalty.

In the darkness, a voice whispered, "Thou shall let us pass."

A group, dressed in dark robes, came walking up, their faces illuminated by candles and a book in their hands. A soft hum of a hymn calmed the night.

Shirley loaded her pistol, aiming at them and murmuring, "You will not find who you're looking for."

"We know that the strongest fighters are within only seconds of here. Let us pass, woman, and you shall feel no pain," the soft voices cooed in the night.

Shirley shivered and said another prayer. She had volunteered for this job because it was her role. Her destiny. She'd accept the consequences. With that, Shirley opened fire.

Paintballs fired into the black robes. Shouts blew out the candles, but one single one remained, at the center of the group.

"The Lord is strong with this one," Shirley glowered, ducking behind pillars and shooting wildly. Her hair was spotted with red streaks and her handbag, a frenzy rainbow of colors, swung on her arm quietly.

Finally, her time had come. She could hear the angels sing as a green splotch slid down her skirt and painless tears filled her eyes.

"I've done my duty," she whispered and shot at the single candle. It went out.

"Aw man!" A teenage boy called out. "I just got these robes! My mom is gonna kill me!"

"May the Lord be with you," Shirley wiped at her eyes and handed the poor boys a brownie each. They thanked the Lord for such deliciousness.

**(IN MEMORY OF SHIRLEY: she was just a Christian woman who DID NOT open her bag) **

**('Yeah, you are both so different...skinny bitches' -Shirley Bennett, mother, Christian, woman.)**

**I know the religion/Star Wars was an easy way to go but aw well. Sorry if its bad! **

**R&R! (BTW thx to Miss Lavender Sky and JustCallMeDaisy for reviewing!) **

**-Meggem**


End file.
